So I was sitting on the couch, watching a baseball game.  My phone rings, and I pick it up. As soon as I answered, some guy with a southern accent starts ranting and raving about me stealing his newspaper.  He claims that he's my next door neighbor.  I told this guy to just come over and get the paper. Just for kicks, I argued with the guy for a few minutes.  I played along with his joke too for a while until it got too repetitive.  Then I let him go. This guy w...

Last night as I was driving home from work, I was thinking about dinner.  I thought about a restaurant that I used to visit in Japan named "Bronco Billy's". Bronco Billy's is a chain of reasonably low-priced steak restaurants in Japan.  At Billy's, one can order a steak with potatoes and a salad bar.  (Just like a Sizzler, a Ponderosa, or a Bonanza in the USA.)  The biggest difference between the steak house there and here is that the quality of the meat and salad is a lot...

In Japan, English words and phrases are used decoratively on clothing, packaging, and other things. Frequently the English that is used it a bit awkward. (I believe that this is intentional.) The use of over-prosaic, colorful, nonsensical, and oftentimes funny English is an underappreciated artform in Japan. The best source of "strange English" is children's clothing. I have read some good nonsense on clothes at the kids' store. Take my son's t-shirt for example: "Beloved: I'm glad ...

The other day I was at a seminar that was sponsored by the publishing company that makes the textbooks that I use at my school.  During the seminar, we had some speakers tell us how to better prepare our students to read and write.  It was a reasonably good seminar. Something struck me as funny as I was sitting through the writing workshop.  The presenter mentioned that we should teach our students how to differentiate their writing voice depending on the type of writing that t...

Well it is March!  The snow will soon melt, the plants will return to life, robins will return, Spring will be here before we know it, and McDonald's now has Shamrock Shakes.  This is our one chance per year to enjoy those yummy mint-flavored shakes. Sometimes a year goes by when I forget about the shakes.  Then in April or May I realize my mistake, and promise myself to "get one next year!" Fortunately, I didn't forget this year.  I went to get a shake on Thursday nigh...

One of my third-graders wrote a really cute closing paragraph to a paper about penguins.  He wrote:   Penguins are birds that can not fly.  They live in Antarctica.  I hope someday I can be one of them. Isn't that cute?

This afternoon at work (I am an elementary school teacher) I went out to the playground to gather a few of my students.  After looking around a bit, I found the kids whom I was looking for. Two of the kids that I found were playing in a rather animated group of first graders.  There were about fifteen kids picking up handfuls of freshly-fallen snow, rubbing it in their hair, and exclaiming: "Look at me!  I'm George Washington!"  (I took a picture of this, and I e-mailed it...

Here in Minnesota it has been quite warm this week.  Today's temperature was around 50 degrees F (~16 C). The kids at the school where I work were nice little angels in the morning, but then after recess they were off the handle.  I can understand.  I watched them out on the playground.  They were having a lot of fun running around in the snow with their coats off.  They didn't want to come inside and study. So I wrote a little song that I had my first graders sing...

So a lot of us out there have anecdotes where a teacher at school melts a bunch of snow in a glass to prove the point that kids shouldn't eat snow.  I think that witnessing this demonstration is a "rite of passage" in one's early primary school years. One of my students was eating a snowball out on the playground today.  I got the snowball from him, and decided to stick it in a baggie to prove the point that he shouldn't be eating the snow. After a half hour the snow wasn't melti...

It seems as if one of the old jokes is dead. I told this one to a group of first-graders at my school: Me: Guess what? Kids: What? Me: That's what. Kids: (Stunned silence.) When I was a first-grader, this joke killed.  It doesn't seem to have the same effect these days.

We use Dish Network for satellite TV at my house.  I am reasonably satisfied with the service.  I see commercials on TV where they're offering four free receivers and a free Tivo-like device for new customers.  I only have one receiver and no Tivo.  I want what's on the ad! We use T-Mobile for cellular service.  My wife and I have camera phones.  We're satisfied with the service, but our phones are a bit antiquated.  I want a camera phone with a flash.&...

So tonight my family had dinner at McDonald's.  My son had some apples and some juice from a McNuggets Happy Meal.  (My wife ate the McNuggets.)  My wife had a chicken sandwich, and I had a Big Mac Value Meal. Once I was finishing up my Big Mac, I thought to myself: "Is that it?"  (I have had that same thought with recent Big Macs that I have purchased as well.) In the past, I recall Big Macs being substantially bigger than they currently are.  After a Big Mac...

We live in Monticello, Minnesota.  Last night my wife received a call from out friend Chialing.  Chialing was so excited.  Even though I was about five meters away from my wife, I could hear Chialing's voice on the phone: "Go outside!  Look up in the sky!" We went outside, and we were lucky enough to get a really good view of the Aurora (the Northern Lights.)  Every once-in-a-while they shine down over Minnesota, but they usually aren't as bright as they wer...

In the United States, today is Election Day.  I stopped by my city's polling place on my way to work.  It took me about 35 minutes to get in, vote, and leave.  After a person votes, he receives a red sticker which proclaims: "I Voted."  I think that the red stickers serve as a good incentive to get people out to vote.  It is a really behaviorist approach to it all, but probably surprisingly effective at getting people to the polls. As I was leaving, I grabbed two ...

  Today my school pictures came back.  I had them taken two weeks ago.  My hair is crazy!!  Kyaaaagh! I still haven't been to the barber since then.  I have to get a haircut!  It stinks because in the year that my family has been living in Monticello, I have yet to find a barber that I trust.